the jersey that doesn't exist

from flowers & animals by Bailey Williams

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lyrics

I've always dreamt of
A certain kind of love
The kind that doesn't exist
There's no white horses in the real world
I'm in the tower, but no one's coming for this girl

I always played Barbies by myself
Already had everything scripted out
And it always ended in heartache

Instead of Cinderella I watched Dracula
'Cause all I knew of love was that it sucked your blood
And it always ended in pain

But I'll build my own ladder down
My feet on the grass
My head in the sky now
The voice in my head, I let her down
It's time that I tried to go her way now

I gave my own artwork letter grades
To numb myself from criticism when I was 8
But it failed, I am still quick to cry

The pressure to be perfect is upon my head
Did I put it there, or does everybody expect
That I'll gladly die just to make them smile

Or am I playing on the wrong team
Is there something that I don't see
Did I join because this was the jersey
That was issued to me

Everyone keeps asking if
If I'm finally going to switch
As if there's something that they know
That they see in me
That I never knew to show

Is something hiding that I didn't know was hidden
Is there a song I need to sing but haven't written
Maybe I've been trying so hard
'Cause I'm chasing all the wrong hearts

I'll build my own ladder down
No I don't know how
Just let me figure it out
Please give me my space
I've asked you kindly
Just trying to find
A jersey that fits me

credits

from flowers & animals, released December 31, 2021

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about

Bailey Williams South Bend, Indiana

Bailey Williams can’t help but confess. Sharing little wisdoms and anecdotes throughout her music, listeners discover a whole new world that is as welcoming as it is endearing. A thread that runs through all of her music is an almost instinctual desire to continue growing as an individual just as much as her desire to blossom as an artist. ... more

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